how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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