we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize