Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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