Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
