Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
