He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
