The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize