my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
