Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
