it wasn't lemon gatorade
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
