Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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