Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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