can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
