Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize