I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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