I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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