he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I skipped work to stalk him.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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