...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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