I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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