I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
