Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
