Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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