Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
