You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
