I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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