My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
