Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
