come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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