Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
