dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
