it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
