btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
