i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
