You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
