if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
