I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
