is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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