My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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