if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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