just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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