Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
