Duck Duck Cougar?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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