my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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