the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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