i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
