He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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