haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Where is the hickey?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
