please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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