how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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