im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize