the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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