Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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