I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
