i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
