so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I FOUND THE LEGS
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
