just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
COCAINE IS GR8
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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