She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He felt like a one man threesome
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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