i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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