Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
