i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
