i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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