I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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