he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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