can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize