Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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