I'm lost and stupid without you.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
