omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need water and some morals
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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